Dating Without Money

I know a lot of guys who are timid about jumping into the dating pool because of lack of money. They figure why bother even asking a woman out because they can’t afford a nice dinner, dancing, movie with requisite wallet-depleting goodies, or anything else that you’re supposed to do on a date. And the one activity you can do with someone of the opposite sex that doesn’t cost money, well, it’s just not good form to broach that as the evening’s plan.

So what’s a guy to do? Eschew getting to know a woman he’s interested in for a TV marathon of Three Stooges movies? God help us all if that’s what it comes down to.

My boyfriend and I are both currently on the lower end of the wealth scale, and all I can say is I’m so glad he didn’t let that discourage him from asking me out. He was concerned, as society has trained him to be, that I might turn him down when I found out that he didn’t drive a car or wouldn’t be taking me out for $26 drinks at The Ivy. But lucky for him I am a self-professed recovering deprivation addict. I think two-ply toilet paper is heart-stoppingly extravagant and my idea of a shopping spree involves twenty bucks and an afternoon at Payless Shoes.

Our first date was incredible and no loan officers were present! He picked me up at my place on a Sunday afternoon and we walked to a nearby park for a picnic. I brought the blanket and water, he brought the sandwiches and fruit. We kicked off our shoes and enjoyed a tasty lunch in between invigorating, non-stop conversation, punctuated only by the occasional scream from a group of nearby kids (who I assume were playing, but to be honest I didn’t even check).

He showed me his book of art that he’s been working on and I got to know him better through his passion. I showed him my legs that I’ve been working out and he got to know me better through our passion. Oh relax, it was just a few kisses. I also regaled him with my storytelling and made him laugh. Ah, there’s nothing like shared hysterical laughter with a side order of snot and tears to speed up the falling in love process. It felt like we were just a couple of fun-loving, in-the-moment kids rather than a couple of self-conscious adults on a first date.

Speaking of children, we allowed our inner kids to come out and play and scaled a nearby tree that was just begging to be climbed. As we sat up in the limbs, our bare feet dangling freely, we told each other stories of our childhoods, tried to kiss without falling out of the tree, and surveyed the rest of the park – especially our belongings – from our vantage point.

After he climbed down and I pretty much fell out of the tree, we packed up our stuff and hit the nearby Starbucks, then sauntered home through a neighborhood filled with old ‘30s buildings. We sat on stoops, smelled flowers, tripped over monstrous tree roots, laughed, and got to know each other.

All this on a first date—for the low price of just $20!

So with a little creativity and a real interest in getting to know the person, not the person’s FICO score, you most certainly can date without money.