Money Can't Buy You Love

Unless you go down to Hollywood and Vine after midnight. But I digress.

Plato once said, “A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers.” I disagree. (I know, what nerve, huh? Disagreeing with the guy who helped lay the foundations of Western philosophy and science?)

A good financial decision is based on numbers – your numbers, i.e. what you have in the bank. Because if you don’t know how much money you have, you’re likely to overspend and find yourself with a couple of crazy overdraft fees, which may put you in the red (this is for the 99 percenters only; you one percenters can take a coffee break here*) and thus ensure that you bounce a few checks.

Keeping track of your outgoing numbers is another way to get clarity on your financial situation. I got into the habit about a year ago of writing down everything I spent: rent, green tea lattés, library fines for Think and Grow Rich, Top Ramen noodles, half-ply toilet paper, waterproof mascara, therapist, 12-Step groups, flat of chocolate cupcakes…. Then at the end of each I month I total it all up and call the suicide hotline. But only when my expenses exceed my income.

by Larry Vazeos

Someone once said, “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life – unless I buy something.” Okay, I just looked it up. It was the comedian Jackie Mason. It’s a funny quote, but the thing is, I don’t want to live in a joke, I want to live an abundant life. And one simple, daily thing I can do to achieve this is to keep my numbers, as they say. Stay clear on exactly how much comes in each month, and how much goes out. At the very least I can be specific about what I’m crying about on my (state assisted) psychiatrist’s couch.

 

So, no, money can’t buy you love, but if you keep your numbers carefully, you can probably budget in renting it for an hour.

* of course I realize the one percenters aren’t reading this blog (and yes, I realize that most of the 99 percenters aren’t either. Don’t make me cry. I can’t afford the tissues.)