Don't Stop Believing

I believe in big hair!

Yes, I quoted a Journey song for the title of this blog. But it’s been blaring in my (exorbitantly coiffed) head all day, so I had to get it out some way. And the reason it was on a loop in my noggin was because of a conversation I had with a friend this morning.

He hired me to edit his website, and when I told him I was really impressed by his content, he admitted that he was grappling with strong feelings of being a fraud – that he didn’t really know what he was talking about, or couldn’t really come through on the services he was offering. Even after his good friend confirmed that yes, he really had gone through this training or really had acquired that experience, he was faced with an age-old issue. No, not erectile dysfunction. He found it hard to believe in himself.

I am blogging about this on my Occupy Selena site because I think it is extremely relevant (and because, let’s face it, I can blog about anything I want to. Next week: milksop. What does this word mean and when did it go out of popular use?* You see?!).  The reason the one percenters (the smallest percentage of people in this country with the largest percentage of the wealth) have so much money, in my humble opinion, is that they don’t suffer from Selfbeliefaphobia. They believe they can make huge amounts of money, they believe they have a service or product to offer, and they believe they deserve to have this money. 

We 99 percenters, on the other hand, don’t really believe we can make a lot of money because we’ve never seen it happen. As neuroscientist Candace Pert says: “We only see what we believe is possible.” Actually, I think that quote doesn’t exactly support my statement, but I’ll leave it in because it’s a good quote and it’s still relevant. The point is, if I grew up in a household where my parents never had money, earned very little money, and always said things like “there’s never enough money”, then that will be my reality, my core belief. (“Gee, thanks, mom and dad. Why couldn’t I have inherited your height or your ability to whistle instead??”)

And many of us 99 percenters share my friend’s worry that despite a long resume of our skills and experience we still aren’t qualified to offer our service. No wonder we don’t start our own businesses, apply for the high-end jobs or confidently ask for a raise after proving a great track record. And I’ve seen so many 99 percenters get to the point of actually making a lot of money with their talents, and then losing it all because their core belief that they don’t deserve to have that money. And by lose it I mean compulsively spend it with nothing to show, give it away to charities or friends, or ‘allow’ corrupt accountants to walk off with it.

So how do we learn to believe in ourselves so that we can achieve whatever success means to us? Well, if I had the answer, I wouldn’t be writing a blog about being one of the 99 percenters. So I’ll do what I do best and offer you a few wise words (not mine, of course, since I don’t believe I have anything worthwhile to say…):

Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it.
--David Joseph Schwartz

 

By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired.
--Franz Kafka

 

You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can't have it.
--Dr. Robert Anthony

 

Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
--Lewis Carroll

 

Never believe in anything until it has been officially denied.
-- Otto von Bismarck 

 

* a milksop is a sissy, and faded from popular lexicon around 1900